Lust/shame/submission/pride dynamic
Lust/shame/submission/pride dynamic
Dynamic arc = enflame sub’s ego->stoke sub’s primal lust->give sub external validation->coax sub’s self-pride->build sub into stable self-confidence
Humiliation/degradation is about the ego*: suppressing it, enflaring it, or a synthesis of both used to deconstruct and reassemble aspects of the ego related to shame. In contrast, Primal lust is about connecting with the unchecked desires of the id.
The Domina can use consensual sexual verbal degradation to enflame, then suppress, then deconstruct the ego in turn. First, verbal validation of sluttiness tinged with degradation of promiscuity or self determination can be used as a stick and carrot that excites the submissive’s fundamental desires while upsetting their ego, bringing any conflicts between the ids desires and the egos shame to the surface.
In this manner the Domina creates space for the sub to address the conflict between their desires and shame, and choose to subjugate their ego by validating their primal desires, and through that validation of foundational desire transmute shame through a synthesis of pleasure and pain, to create pride in submission to their own shameful desires and self value in the degradation of their servitude to Mistress’ pleasure.
After stirring the pot with a stick, adding in a carrot of desire for the id, such as powerful physical simulation, pushes the sub to embrace primal and foundational (and therefore intense) desires with disregard for the egos imposition of judgement. Allowing the submissive to reject the ego and embrace the id free of shame. This can create a powerful “loss of (conscious) self” in that it encourages the submissive to switch focus from ego to id. This is also part of subspace. (This is why this requires advanced/altered states consent practices and pre-negotiation).
Adding in pride to the ego-shame dynamic creates a synthesis: simultaneously suppressing the self-criticisms of the sub’s ego while stroking their ids desires, and offering a synthesis of pleasure mutually aligned with both the id and ego, by offering the Dommes proud external ego as a temporary replacement for the sub’s self-critical ego. In this way the carrots of sexual pleasure and external pride, mixed with the empowering rejection of self criticism, encourage the sub to validate their base desires and find pride rather than shame in them, ultimately moving towards a genuine synthesis in self, aligning their own ego with id and thereby transforming rather than repressing shame and giving rise to confident self-determination.
In this manner the Domina creates space for the sub to address the conflict between their desires and shame, and choose to subjugate their ego by validating their primal desires, and through that validation of foundational desire transmute shame through a synthesis of pleasure and pain, to create pride in submission to their own shameful desires and self value in the degradation of their servitude to Mistress’ pleasure.
*Freudian terms used for general reference, not to be read in line with his particular biased misunderstanding of psychology.
V, 2019
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